I believe in you, and I believe in love.

Today is not supposed to be this good. First off, it's Valentine's Day, and the last time I could actually be with the person I was with on February 14th was, um, 2003. And even that took a lot of crying and convincing on my part. So the fact that I was with my girl at midnight, this morning, was a really big thing. Of course, I had to go and have rape nightmares involving my ex, which is always a fun way to wake up, but what can I say? There was no getting down, today. I've got chocolate-covered fortune cookies (which I cannot stop eating, oh my god), these gorgeous flowers delivered by a trans person who looked remarkably like Dr. Bramlett, and a card that makes me cry every time I re-read it, which is often. And so, although the VD has gotten a bad rap as a Hallmark holiday, and it's weird for me to be one of those happy-couple-right-here people at all, let alone on holidays, I've been too giddy to even feign bitterness or annoyance today.

Besides, the story of Valentine's Day is rather beautiful and revolutionary, isn't it? A man who secretly performed marriages when they had been outlawed by the emperor, who must have known he couldn't keep it up, but who did what he could right up until they threw him in prison. I remember back in 2004, too, when Mayor Gavin Newsom started performing gay marriages in San Francisco, how it went on for almost an entire month and nearly 4,000 couples had their unions recognized by the law, finally, even if they were all voided the next month. And it felt like things were changing then, and even when the law pushed them back again, none of us forgot that they could change, at least, that we could do it again, someday.

Bottom line: I think it's essential to celebrate love every day, especially right now, when so many people in power are working to restrict it. I don't love any more, or any differently, on Valentine's day, but I can't bring myself to feign scorn or to hold back in protest of what Hallmark has done to the day. I love today, and am in love today, and that's it.

Oh, and also: I am watching Top Design with Jefferson, and I have seen this episode already, and I am loving it all over again. And Ali is in here talking out of his ass about Andy Warhol, and Marshall will be out of rehearsal soon, and things are so, so good. Even if I now have to do three readings this semester, oh shit. Maybe it's time to start writing again. After tonight.